Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 13 June 2024

Pint of Guinness Conor McGregor Leaves lots of froth on the mouth Always frothing at the mouth Fills the gut Is more than a gut-full Pint of plain Plainly pointless Gives people a hangover Gives people a headache Settles fine Settles fines

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 24 March 2022

George Orwell Micheál Martin Author Author of his own misfortune Predicted terrible government Leads terrible government Warned about dystopia Created HSE Mocked Stalin Regularly mocked Wrote ‘Animal Farm’ Wants to grow grain Still relevant Never relevant Fought for Spanish republicans Always fighting with republicans

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 10 March 2022

St Patrick Alan Kelly Suffered for his faith Suffered in opinion polls Forced into slavery Shackled to austerity Father was a tax collector Taxed everybody’s patience Preached to the Irish Far too preachy Associated with shamrocks Weeded out of top job Banished snakes Banished by Labour Converted non-believers Nobody believed in him

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 10 February 2022

LEAVING CERT NORMA FOLEY Causes stress in students Causes stress in students Inflated grades Inflated ego Lots of papers Papers over cracks Mocks in February Mocked all year around Supervised by teachers Fed up with teachers Scripts are marked Cards are marked Progression on to college Not making much progress

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 27 January 2022

St. Brigid Leo Varadkar Patron saint of Kildare Patronising Fine Gaeler Lived quietly in a monastery Likes to take his shirt off in public Performed miracles Needs miracle at next election Wore a magic cloak Faded Blueshirt Revered by the faithful Party is losing faith Feast day on February 1 Makes a meal of everything

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 13 January 2022

Minimum Price Booze Fianna Fáil Out of reach of many people Out of touch with most people No more special offers Offers nothing special Powerful drinks Drunk with power Not so popular at parties any more Not a very popular party any more Fermenting on shelves Tormenting themselves Ales and wines Ailing and whining In… Read more »

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 16 December 2021

SANTA CLAUS BORIS JOHNSON Works one day per year Works one day per year Loves cookies Always taking the biscuit Covered in soot Covered in sleaze Has a long list Has a long list of scandals Knows every child Doesn’t know all his children Comes down the chimney Popularity has gone up in smoke

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 2 December 2021

LOTTERY FIANNA FÁIL Spins balls Spins balls-ups Likes to build millionaires Likes millionaire builders Numbers fall down Number nearly up No winner Lots of losers Temporary rollovers Temporary taoiseach

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 12 August 2021

Micheál Martin Wally the walrus Refuses to walk the plank Climbed onto a boat Hard neck Thick skin No friends in cabinet No friends to play with Adrift in the polls Drifted on an iceberg Full of blather Full of blubber Completely toothless Sharp tusks Struggling to stay afloat Prolific swimmer

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 7 May 2020

Kim Jong-un Boris Johnson Oversees hard border in Korea Overlooked hard border in Ireland Rumoured to be dead Alive and miskicking Poisoned brother Poisoned relations with the EU Rules through spreading fear Spreading fear through incompetence Mystery surrounding childhood Mystery surrounding number of children Always smoking All smoke and mirrors Regularly tests missiles Regularly tests… Read more »

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 9 April 2020

Kenny Rogers Leo Varadkar Famous for The Gambler Famous for election gamble Sang Islands in the Stream Shutdown Ireland’s industry Popular country singer Unpopular down the country Talented tennis player Always causing a racket Distinctive shirts Planning hair-shirt budgets Friends with Dolly Parton Only works 9 to 5

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 26 March 2020

Joe Biden Donald Trump Man who was vice president Man who has many vices Served with Barack Obama Always barracking about Obama Lives in Delaware Lives in his own reality Presumptive nominee Presumed to have colluded with Russia No spring chicken Only eats fried chicken Will campaign in rust belt Regularly caught with pants down… Read more »

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 16 January 2020

Fr. Ray Kelly Eoghan Murphy Man of the cloth Cloth ears Believes in a higher power Can’t believe he’s still in power Struggling with sidesteps Sidesteps awkward questions Didn’t impress the judges Hasn’t impressed anyone Adheres to papal infallibility Adheres to Leo Varadkar’s infallibility Works in the house of God Only God knows why he… Read more »

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 12 December 2019

EOGHAN MURPHY SANTA EOGHAN MURPHY Will disappear after Christmas Will disappear after next election Hands out presents Has no presence Has a naughty list Has huge housing waiting lists Carries a massive sack Should be getting the sack

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 28 November 2019

José Mourinho Mick McCarthy Won Champions League Out of his league Sets ambitious goals Team can’t score goals Spent lots on players Players are completely spent Full of self-confidence Full of self-doubt Special One Surplus One in 2020 Managed throughout Europe Managed to blow automatic qualification Won lots of matches Winning few admirers

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 31 October 2019

GENERAL FRANCO BORIS JOHNSON Remains exhumed Remains in the EU Starring role in Spanish Civil War Starring role in Brexit Civil War Fascist government Fatuous government Ruled with an iron fist Rules with a foot in his mouth Soldier Mercenary Disliked Basques Undoes basques Right-wing lunatic Right-wing lunatic

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 3 October 2019

Incredible Hulk Boris Johnson You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry You wouldn’t like him Green-skinned Thin-skinned Hounded by a journalist Hounded by journalists Full of muscles Outmuscled by Supreme Court Ferocious temper Ferocious waffler Mild-mannered alter ego Ego is never mild Always rips his shirt Trying to rip up backstop Has difficulty speaking Has… Read more »

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 22 August 2019

CARRIE LAM MICHAEL O’LEARY Acting like a puppet Acting like a muppet Leader of Hong Kong Behaves like King Kong Under pressure from Chinese government Under pressure from shareholders Responsible for controversial extradition bill Responsible for controversial baggage bills Wants to keep airport open Wants to close airports Dealing with angry protesters Dealing with angry… Read more »

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 25 July 2019

Diarmuid Connolly John Delaney Problems with visa No problems with visa card Back in the spotlight Fans in the dark Always kicking points Known for kicking for touch Popular with the Dubs Not popular with the PAC Put back in the Dublin team Put on gardening leave Explosive temper Explosive allegations Always a handful Always… Read more »

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 10 July 2019

Mink Conor McGregor Kept in battery cages Keeps getting battered in cages Distinctive pelt Pelted bin at bus Hunted for fur Hunted by press Related to weasel Relates to Dana White Hides used for clothing Unable to hide from trouble Promoted as ideal fur brand Always promoting his own brand Loves rabbits Loves rabbiting on

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 27 June 2019

Madonna Varadkar Shameless attention-seeking diva Shameless attention-seeking diva Obsessed with her public image Obsessed with his public image Latest record is a bit of a disaster Political record is a bit of a disaster Fond of adopting children Fond of adopting popular policies Loves to talk dirty Loves to talk about himself Wrote song for… Read more »

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 13 June 2019

KATIE TAYLOR SHANE ROSS Boxes professionally Boxes clever  Impressed the judges Not impressed with judges Lives in Bray Always braying Wonder woman Wonders when government will collapse Estranged from father Estranged from Fine Gael  Medaled at Olympics Accused of meddling in FAI matters Undisputed champion Undisputed chump Received oversized belt Receives oversized salary National heroine… Read more »

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 30 May 2019

TRUMP VLAD Shameless narcissistic self-publicist Shameless narcissistic self-publicist Planning a short visit to Ireland On a short visit to Government Buildings Advocate of shooting Advocate of shooting from the lip Likes to talk tough Likes to talk about himself History of lurid sex History of lurid socks Ridiculous hair Ridiculous

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 2 May 2019

CRICKET IRELAND JOHN DELANEY Responsible for wickets Responsible for sticky wickets  Train batsmen Trained to bat away questions Once beat Pakistan Enjoying Indian summer Rain affects their matches His reign will never end Balls made of cork Makes a balls of everything Play one day internationals Playing for time

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 4 April 2019

TENNIS BALL JOHN DELANEY Completely hollow  Completely hollow Appears on court Appeared in court Associated with rackets Always causing a racket Bouncy Bounced around the FAI Full of air Full of hot air Takes flight easily Will never take flight from Abbotstown Engineered to reduce drag Enormous drag on Irish soccer Fuzzy texture Fuzzy about… Read more »

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 7 March 2019

KIM JONG UN DONALD TRUMP Took over from his father Took money from his father Has nuclear arsenal Talks out of his arse Close to China Close to Russia Avoided flying to Vietnam Avoided Vietnam War People are malnourished People accuse him of malfeasance Travels by train Presidency going off the rails N.I. FISHING BOATS… Read more »

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 21 February 2019

WILLIAM OF ORANGE MICHEÁL MARTIN Life-size statue discovered Discovered to be completely lifeless Born in the Netherlands Born yesterday Lifted siege in Derry Lifted siege against Simon Harris Associated with province of Orange Associated with red faces Married to Queen Mary Married to confidence and supply Dumped after theft Could be dumped after local elections… Read more »

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 7 February 2019

Nicolás Maduro Bono Loves socialism Loves himself Taxes wealth Taxes patience CIA want to kill him Taxman can’t bill him Inflation is a problem Inflated ego is a problem Friendly with Evo Morales Friendly with amoral capitalists Retains support of the military Retains support of Dave Fanning

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 24 January 2019

Prince Philip Theresa May Ran out of road Running out of ideas Was behind the wheel Asleep behind the wheel Lost control momentarily Lost control permanently Couldn’t get out of ditch Tories can’t ditch her Halted by immovable barrier Halted by immovable DUP Was breathalysed by police Suffered breathtaking defeat

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 13 December 2018

KYLIE MINOGUE LEO VARADKAR Sells out concerts Sells out the poor Famous for gold pants Famous for being pants Cheesy music Cheesy administration Dated INXS singer Dated and excessive Spinning Around Spinning Appeared in Neighbours Appears out of his depth Shifted millions of records Shifted Frances Fitzgerald to backbenches Can’t get you out of my… Read more »

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 29 November 2018

Mohammed bin Salman John Delaney Chops heads off Head is on the block Speaks Arabic Speaks out of his Aarhus Intervened in Yemeni civil war Civil war about to erupt if he stays on Has issued death warrants Signed O’Neill’s and Keane’s death warrants Autocratic personality Robotic personality One of the world’s richest men One… Read more »

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 20 September 2018

SERENA WILLIAMS ROY KEANE Smashed racket Causing a racket Inspired by Arthur Ashe Irritated by Harry Arter Infamous sister Infamous temper Coached from crowd Infamous temper  Lost a major tournament final Lost out on a major tournament Supports Colin Kaepernick Support is running out

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 6 September 2018

DECLAN RICE DREW HARRIS Outstanding central defending role Outstanding MI5 role No-nonsense right-footer No-nonsense left-footer Shooting skills in little doubt Shooting skills in some doubt Always runs for 90 minutes Always runs for cover Serious questions about his future Serious questions about his past Minister denies he’ll do anything for publicity

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 23 August 2018

POPE EOGHAN MURPHY Deals in miracles Needs miracles Delivers homily in Phoenix Park Moves homeless out of Phoenix Park Lots of people anointed Lots of people annoyed Prays to the Lord Prays to landlords

Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference, 9 August 2018

Muhammad Ali Micheál Martin  Original name was Clay Currently his name is mud  Stung like a bee Stung by criticism  Refused to fight in Vietnam Pretends to fight Varadkar Convert to Islam Convert to populism Beat Sonny Liston Leadership is listing Heavyweight champion Lightweight chancer Threw Olympic medal into Ohio River Threw away big poll… Read more »