October 30, 2025 Craic & Codology

FINE GAEL leader Simon Harris has hailed the performance of Heather Humphreys in last week’s presidential election. The Tánaiste – who has come under pressure from his backbenchers over the manner in which the candidate selection was (mis)handled – said that questions about his leadership were only a distraction from what was a convincing trouncing… Read more »

October 30, 2025 Craic & Codology

Shaken Citywest rioters have condemned the vicious smear campaigns that dominated the presidential election, suggesting the tactics went “too far”. They have urged a return to calm after the fiercely contested election resulted in grievous political wounds and bruised egos. “I’ve never seen anything like this presidential cycle,” said one rioter. “When you see some… Read more »

October 30, 2025 Craic & Codology

What’s in What’s out Dogmatic approach Pet mountain dogs Clare Daly Daily poetry readings Keepie-uppies Keeps causing uproar Cab rank system Rank bad poetry Trips to Syria Serious ego trips Mick Wallace Taking the mick with long speeches

October 30, 2025 Craic & Codology

Michael D Higgins As I prepare to leave Áras an Uachtaráin for the final time, as a gesture of goodwill I’ve kindly agreed to let my successor keep all the unsold copies of my recent poetry album. Bob Geldof Presidential elections are fookin gruelling affairs and the media will pour over every aspect of your… Read more »

October 30, 2025 Craic & Codology

Fine Gael HQ There’s guaranteed to be blood on the walls after Heather Humphreys and her campaign team were brutally slaughtered during the presidential election. Expect Scary Simon to say Fine Gael never had a ghost of a chance to win anyway. Montrose Legend has it that RTÉ is now permanently haunted by the spectre… Read more »

October 30, 2025 Craic & Codology

by Our Pop Staff Peter Pan Yes! Westlife have done it again!! And the entire country has gone boyband crazy after news broke about their latest farewell tour. It’s hard to believe that 27 years have passed since the critics said these unsung heroes were just all hype and gloss. But Irish fans are ecstatic…. Read more »

October 30, 2025 Craic & Codology

Back in the mists of time… As soon as Charles J Haughey glided into the studio, he was completely in awe of me. No wonder we hit it off. “You really know how to hog the limelight,” he whispered. Then he grasped me by the knee and confirmed that I was one sassy bitch –… Read more »

October 30, 2025 Craic & Codology

A RECENT I Wish survey of Irish second-level education reveals “stark differences” between single-sex and mixed schools. Health minister Cruella Carroll MacNeill responded to the report, saying that it exposed the shameful reality of gender inequality in Irish society and asking: “Why, oh why, do mediocre males – no names, let’s just call them Simon… Read more »

October 30, 2025 Craic & Codology

Mike Headcase Far-right activist who condemned the “disgraceful scenes” at Citywest, noting some protesters had failed to throw flares, bottles and wooden planks. Also concerned by online hatred, saying there isn’t nearly enough of it. John Nutter Controversial figure who’s been at the centre of much attention – especially from riot squad personnel. Urged Telegram… Read more »

October 16, 2025 Craic & Codology

“NORWAY LOVES low-IQ woke losers. They gave the medal to a SELF-CONFESSED WOMAN with a name that no one can pronounce. She’s lying low in a luxury Venezuela spa resort. Enjoying herself playing golf and living on chickpeas. “At the same time I defeat Hummus single-handed – you can’t have fanatical madmen in power. Just… Read more »

October 16, 2025 Craic & Codology

Irish radio is in shock following the sudden passing of a long-running programme during a sudden hatchet attack. The programme’s demise occurred shortly after it had completed a 90-minute run, as had been its weekday practice for 11 years. “I feel angry and sad when I think of what has just happened,” said one ashen-faced… Read more »

October 16, 2025 Craic & Codology

Micheál Martin Devious, slippery, unreliable – yet sure to crave sympathy when it comes to facing inevitable banishment. So, will the other contestants support him when he humbly admits that “the only thing I will do to save my skin is absolutely anything”? Jennifer Carroll MacNeill With her reputation for ruthless self-promotion, Jennifer takes no… Read more »

October 16, 2025 Craic & Codology

Our unforgettable sailing holidays around the eastern Mediterranean will take you right back to earlier times (just weeks ago). You really won’t recognise this forgotten world. ♦ Experience traditional Israeli hospitality. From the moment you arrive, you’ll be greeted with open arms and a dazzling display of incoming drones. ♦ Navy warships provide a fully… Read more »

October 16, 2025 Craic & Codology

Government sources have presented solid evidence about Catherine Connolly’s unfitness for office. In a secret press briefing, sympathetic pol corrs were given the following talking points for their upcoming opinion pieces: • Connolly uses money, meaning she supports capitalism • That money may have once been in the hands of republican terrorists • Equally, those… Read more »

October 16, 2025 Craic & Codology

A new controversy has erupted over AI actor Tilly Norwood, with her creators suggesting there may be a role for her in RTÉ’s dramatic output. While scepticism remains regarding AI’s ability to convincingly replicate human emotion, the team behind Norwood insists this shouldn’t be a problem in the likes of The Walsh Sisters and Fair… Read more »