August 11, 2022 Craic & Codology

Greetings faithful, Well, it has been a worrying time and no mistake. The anguish, the hurt, the confusion – but enough about Sabina Higgins’ website posts, let’s focus on your humble, infallible pope’s dodgy knee. It’s certainly been difficult: some observers are saying I’ve loss that extra half yard when handing out communion wafers or… Read more »

August 11, 2022 Craic & Codology

After finally getting agreement on agricultural emission cuts, the Government has announced ambitious new plans to miss its overall target by 51%. Having continually missed climate goals by an embarrassing margin, experts feel the new target is more than achievable. “We are also looking to increase bust-ups between farmers, business groups and environmentalists by up… Read more »

August 11, 2022 Craic & Codology

Liz Truss Claims to be representing the six counties but most believe it’s a deeply cynical ploy. Very passionate about equestrianism and was recently asked by Brexiteers to ride a Trojan horse into 10 Downing Street for them. Nancy Pelosi Congresswoman from California who is very proud of her party’s links to Ireland, especially around… Read more »

August 11, 2022 Craic & Codology

President Michael D Higgins and his wife, Sabina, were again facing strong criticism from some sectors following an entire week passing without the couple creating a furore. Said one irate reporter: “With all the TDs on holidays, we need all the help we can get to spin massive political controversies out of thin air. The… Read more »

August 11, 2022 Craic & Codology

Pope Francis The veteran Argentinian sparked retirement rumours recently and warned his devoted fans that he may have to move on. Has clashed with Ronaldo over the latter’s claim that he too is infallible and richer than the Vatican. Boris Johnson Unapologetic right-winger whose best days appear to be behind him after being caught offside… Read more »

August 11, 2022 Craic & Codology

There has been widespread shock at news that RTÉ may owe Revenue millions due to misclassifying workers as “self-employed”, with many refusing to believe that any work goes into the national broadcaster’s output. Indeed, it is believed that this argument may form the basis of RTÉ’s defence. “It could be a rock-solid case,” said one… Read more »

August 11, 2022 Craic & Codology

IN A sensational allegation that has left Ireland’s air travel world reeling, a passenger who regularly flies with Aer Lingus has claimed that he had “no problems whatsoever” on a recent flight to Glasgow. “Everything went very smoothly and staff were on hand at all times to deal with any queries that might arise,” said… Read more »

August 11, 2022 Craic & Codology

Private jet Irish Government Cockpit over nose Cocky, with noses in the air Runway to itself Lost the run of itself Takes off quickly Nothing ever gets off the ground Favoured by the rich Favours the rich Above the clouds Heads in the clouds Creates plenty of hot air Creates plenty of hot air

August 11, 2022 Craic & Codology

China has expressed alarm over escalating internal tensions in Fianna Fáil, saying its standoff with Taiwan pales in comparison. As FF’s poll ratings continue to collapse, there are increasing fears that backbenchers may go for the nuclear “option” and launch a leadership heave against Micheál Martin. Meanwhile, US House speaker Nancy Pelosi has ruled out… Read more »

August 11, 2022 Craic & Codology

Dublin’s Natural History Museum has reopened its doors again after being shut for several years. Visitors to the lower house, known as “The Dead Zoo”, can observe 160 specimens – most of them stretched out on the back benches and completely lifeless. On the upper floor is an additional collection of 60 rare exhibits –… Read more »

August 11, 2022 Craic & Codology

Simon Coveney: The Good Soldier Švejk by Jaroslav Hašek. I’ll be re-reading this wonderful classic about a middle-aged man eager to join a brutal war. He can’t understand why a peace-loving public are so reluctant to embrace military expansion and all the wonderful benefits it brings. Fintan O’Toole: We Don’t Know Ourselves by Fintan O’Toole…. Read more »

August 11, 2022 Craic & Codology

Taoiseach Micheál Martin has promised the public this week that, despite the ongoing Ukraine crisis, Ireland’s journalists will work tirelessly to ensure there will be no shortage of articles about gas, oil and the supply chain this winter. Minister for Public Expenditure and Reform Michael McGrath has said that this year’s budget will include a… Read more »

August 11, 2022 Craic & Codology

Deposit on a house in Dublin Pay interest on loans for National Children’s Hospital Seven foreign excursions for St Patrick’s Day Few road grants for Kilgarvan to keep the Healy-Raes onside after election Keep Green Party ministers flying first class Fill up State cars with petrol for a month

August 11, 2022 Craic & Codology

by Bill Board AGEING ROCKSTARS U2 have defended their plans to rock out on the Las Vegas strip next year, when the band is to open the new MSG Sphere. Said frontman Bono: “The whole rock thing is really a marathon, not a race – especially after 40 years at the top, which means this… Read more »

August 11, 2022 Craic & Codology

Following on from the controversy over judicial appointments, the UAE has moved to distance itself from the Irish judiciary, saying it no longer “wishes to be associated with such a regime”. The furore arose after Irish judges were accused of “UAE-washing” as they attempted to use a petrostate to camouflage their outrageous salaries and the… Read more »

August 11, 2022 Craic & Codology

Vlad Coin Showed some early promise but is now considered to be absolutely worthless. Its tendency to always come up a day late and a dollar short has meant those who invested heavily in it were made to look very foolish. Labour Coin Has struggled to gain any popularity or momentum since it sold out… Read more »

August 11, 2022 Craic & Codology

The Government has welcomed the decision of several retailers to remove best-before dates from some of their products. Experts agree that food waste has become a huge problem and the coalition hopes this new initiative will help to boost the popularity of its politicians. “The Cabinet is very stale at the moment and regularly leaves… Read more »

August 11, 2022 Craic & Codology

Report all potential hazards (trade unions etc) Ship all profits overseas Shelve plans for toilet breaks Refuse to take stock of criticism Ensure workers always feel the heat Emergency exit to be used when tax breaks run out

August 11, 2022 Craic & Codology

SUMMER FUN is on offer here as a hapless ministerial fantasist (played by Eamon Ryan) hits gullible taxpayers with the Government’s latest made-up MetroLink plan figures. He even insists that the multi-billion euro megaproject isn’t just another blatant election stunt! It’s a mad ride with a cast of crazy characters intent on wasting money faster… Read more »

August 11, 2022 Craic & Codology

What number do you text? – 101010 What do you have to do? – Text RTÉWORKER followed by your name and PPS number. Is it free? – Given our mounting bills, no, of course not. It costs just €20 per text. Any complaints? – Contact your ombudsman, or talk to Joe on…

August 11, 2022 Craic & Codology

By Moss Cow and Len N Grad Russian ambassador to Ireland Yuri Filatov has reiterated his praise for the letter on the war in Ukraine written to the Irish Times by Ireland’s ‘First Lady’ Sabina Higgins. The ambassador stated: “This insightful missil… er, missive, agrees that Russia had no choice but to launch its peaceful… Read more »