October 6, 2022 Craic & Codology

Block: What FG and FF do to Green policies Cracks: Plenty of them in the coalition Slapdash: Any initiative approved by Darragh O’Brien Defective: Accurate description of the Cabinet Parapet: Something ministers will never go above

October 6, 2022 Craic & Codology

SINDO EXCLUSIVE: by Shane Ross Mary Lou McDonald is one of Ireland’s most important national treasures, on a par with the Book of Kells or Stepaside Garda Station. Born into the republican ghetto of Rathgar, McDonald rebelled against her surroundings and found comfort in the arms of Bertie Ahern’s Fianna Fáil. However, much like my… Read more »

October 6, 2022 Craic & Codology

Liz Truss It’s shocking to think that someone would use the results of a nebulous election to try to claim a mandate for unprecedented political and social upheaval. King Charles If these regions are in need of some new aristocracy then I could certainly help replenish their ranks with many of my relations. I wouldn’t… Read more »

October 6, 2022 Craic & Codology

By Moss Cow Russian President Vladimir Putin has defended using video footage of GAA football matches to motivate his newly mobilised troops seeking to repel enemy advances in Ukraine. The move comes amidst rumours that the former KGB agent was so appalled by recent bouts of violence against referees that he ordered 25,000 DVDs of… Read more »

October 6, 2022 Craic & Codology

Dear Mug, Punter, Pal, We wish to draw your attention to the following issue under Section 1 (b) of the Abject Apology Act (amended) 2022 as outlined in the High Court National Standards Debacle 2008-22. A recent review of your account revealed an outstanding apology was due to be credited to you. We wish to… Read more »

October 6, 2022 Craic & Codology

Despite all the hype surrounding Louis Walsh’s latest boyband, there were troubling signs yesterday that all was not well within the group. End Of The Line is made up of three aspiring pop stars, Micheál, Vlad and Eamon. The legendary music manager, who was once associated with Dedward and No Direction, admitted that he was… Read more »

October 6, 2022 Craic & Codology

Ireland is set to launch its very own Digital Games Tax Credit scheme. Welcoming the announcement last night, arts minister Catherine Martin told reporters: “This is an exciting step forward for Irish cultural life and I would like to congratulate everyone involved in making it happen – particularly myself. “Thankfully, we’ve come a long way… Read more »

October 6, 2022 Craic & Codology

Eeny meeny miny squad Cherry Orchard has hot rod For every time gardaí appear Their car is rammed by kids who steer Pussycat Putincat where have you been? I’ve been out recruiting but no one is keen Pussycat Putincat what did they say? They showered me with curses and then ran away

October 6, 2022 Craic & Codology

Micheál Martin, temporary Taoiseach So often a great visionary’s value and accomplishments are not recognised until he has gone and it’s too late to avert catastrophe. There’s a lesson in this premature departure for us all. Stephen Kenny, present Ireland football manager I thought Paul’s performance was exceptional. All the own goals were unavoidable and… Read more »

October 6, 2022 Craic & Codology

Following the successful Dimorphos crash test into an asteroid, Nasa boffins have revealed they were inspired to conduct a massive collision in outer space following the recent events in Cherry Orchard. “Our team were gobsmacked at how easily the Government was knocked off course and the massive impact it left on some backbench TDs. The… Read more »

September 22, 2022 Craic & Codology

Queen Elizabeth’s strength was her ability to communicate without saying anything at all. Elaine Byrne, Sunday Business Post To me, tomorrow will not jut be a funeral for Britain’s longest-serving monarch, but a focal point to grieve all that we lost in the horrors of the pandemic. Leslie Ann Horgan, Irish Independent But the new… Read more »

September 22, 2022 Craic & Codology

By Ann Archy and Kay Oss BRITAIN’S KING Charles III was last night at the centre of a growing storm after sharing “insensitive comments” criticising Jedward on social media. But the new monarch defended his controversial posts about the Irish pop duo. “They’re completely out of touch and it’s not just their silly voices and… Read more »

September 22, 2022 Craic & Codology

• Electricity bill arrived • Nowhere to sleep after friend sold couch for food • Got a visit after refereeing minor football match last week… • The Late Late Show • Owe a Dublin hotel for two nights’ accommodation • Escaping incessant Garth Brooks concerts • Green Party seeking to sign me up • Trying… Read more »

September 22, 2022 Craic & Codology

Housing: Get media to stop going on about Robert Troy’s houses Taxation: Penalties for vacant spaces (eg between Stephen Donnelly’s ears) Welfare: Protect the most vulnerable leadership favourites Transport: Find out why the party is stuck in a rut Agriculture: Ministers to hope they aren’t turfed out Health: Switch off life support for Micheál Martin’s… Read more »

September 22, 2022 Craic & Codology

THE INQUIRY led by Mr Justice Brian Greyman into the sale of building services group Siteserv has found the complex transaction was approved “in good faith” but was based on “misleading” information. While the behaviour of several individuals involved was “tainted with impropriety”, there was no evidence whatsoever of any wrong-doing by billionaire Denis O’Brien…. Read more »

September 22, 2022 Craic & Codology

Economists are expressing concern ahead of the budget, with many suggesting that the Government’s credibility is almost totally spent. They have also warned that at least half the Cabinet are surplus to requirements, with ministers offering “cheap soundbites” in response to the cost-of-living crisis. “They’re going to pay dearly for it at the next election,”… Read more »

September 22, 2022 Craic & Codology

Micheál Martin It’s always heartening to see country traditions here in Co Laois. I was particularly impressed by the local line-dancing – something I might need to try out with my good pal, Barry Cowen, to get him under control for once. Eamon Ryan A wonderful opportunity to explain the Green agenda to unenlightened rural… Read more »