AMNASTY INTERNATIONAL – VICTIM OF THE MONTH
March 8, 2023 Craic & Codology
Dinny’s worried face says it all. Mercilessly targeted by bond creditors, he may lose up to 90% of his Digihell group. As well as being a devastating blow to his legendary ego, it would force him to get a new monthly mobile plan and would be a cruel fate for a much-loved businessman, celebrated for… Read more »
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NPHET EXPERT SLAMS NPHET
March 8, 2023 Craic & Codology
FORMER NPHET member Professor Martin Comical has launched a stinging attack on the state advisory team’s handling of lockdown measures during the pandemic. Said the UCG academic: “Apart from the vaccination – which should have been 100% mandatory – all the other guidelines were a gross denial of basic human rights. “We told people to… Read more »
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WINDSOR FRAMEWORK GLOSSARY
March 8, 2023 Craic & Codology
• Tory-fied: The fear that fragile perishables might not last long • Boris Proofed: Heavy duty vellum paper used to ensure text cannot be torn up • Collinsated: Goods that may not be registered properly • Trussed: Passed through very quickly •DUP Brake: Mechanism by which everything comes to a complete and indefinite halt
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DR BERTIE ANSWERS YOUR PERSONAL QUESTIONS
March 8, 2023 Craic & Codology
Dear Dr Bertie, I sweat a lot after vigorous exercise. Should I be worried about this? Drumcondra resident. Dr Bertie says: It’s completely normal to perspire during the course of some physical activity. I myself will be running between now and the next presidential election. However, try keep to keep clean – I’ve been trying… Read more »
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REACTIONS TO NEW SOC DEM LEADER HOLLY CAIRNS
March 8, 2023 Craic & Codology
Micheál Martin I wish Holly all the best but I would caution politicians – and especially my own party – against rapid leadership changes anytime soon. It’s far better to stick with a tried-and-tested leader who is slightly ahead of the Soc Dems in the polls. Stephen Kenny I’m worried this course of action could… Read more »
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CITIZENS’ ASSEMBLY GUIDE TO POPULAR DRUGS
March 8, 2023 Craic & Codology
Chronic: Developed over the last few decades, this mind-altering substance manages to slow down the perception of time. The result is an experience that is virtually identical to being on a HSE waiting list. Drone: Causes a feeling of lightheadedness and fatigue that is akin to listening to Michael O’Leary talking about unmanned aerial vehicles… Read more »
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DAVE FANNING PAYS TRIBUTE TO HIMSELF
March 8, 2023 Craic & Codology
Obviously, I have made a legendary contribution to Irish radio, starting when I first began playing U2 in the 1970s, which I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned before. I’ve always been keen to downplay my association with the band, although I’ve remained the first DJ to play all their new singles, even the ones that… Read more »
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PAUL MESCAL FILLER
March 8, 2023 Craic & Codology
Exclusive by all showbiz hacks “Who is the real Paul Mescal?” That is the question the whole country is grappling with, especially me after my editor instructed me to churn out another 1,000 words about the Maynooth star. (Great start – Ed.) With his Wikipedia page open, I feel confident I can provide some new… Read more »
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POTTER BOOSTS DONNELLY
March 8, 2023 Craic & Codology
Ireland’s beleaguered health minister, Stephen Donnelly, has received a much-needed morale boost, following a vote of confidence from Chelsea gaffer Graham Potter. Said Potter: “Obviously he’s unlucky with several people carrying knocks at the same time but I look at his record and think, ‘Wow!’ The main thing is the crowds keep turning up. “And… Read more »
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IRISH-RUSSIAN SPY SHOCK!
March 8, 2023 Craic & Codology
NEWS THAT a Russian woman identified as an alleged security risk in Australia previously held a sensitive public position in Cork has been greeted with widespread shock within political circles here. Disbelief was the order of the day in Leinster House when it emerged that, at one time, Marina Smershki worked in the constituency office… Read more »
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PRELIMINARY FINDINGS OF THAT COVID-19 INQUIRY
March 8, 2023 Craic & Codology
Hand hygiene: All fingers should be pointed at Nphet Social distancing: HSE to keep taking one step forward and two steps back Long Covid: Tony Holohan still red-faced over Trinity College fiasco Vaccines: Government tried to ensure they were immune from criticism Respiratory health: Stephen Donnelly still terribly long-winded Masking: Coalition Government parties and Nphet… Read more »
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CARTOONS 4104-01
February 23, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology
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CARTOONS 4104-02
February 23, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology
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CARTOONS 4104-03
February 23, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology
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CARTOONS 4104-04
February 23, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology
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CARTOONS 4104-05
February 23, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology
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CARTOONS 4104-06
February 23, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology
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CARTOONS 4104-07
February 23, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology
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CARTOONS 4104-08
February 23, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology
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CARTOONS 4104-09
February 23, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology
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CARTOONS 4104-10
February 23, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology
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CARTOONS 4104-11
February 23, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology
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CARTOONS 4104-12
February 23, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology
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CARTOONS 4104-13
February 23, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology
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CARTOONS 4104-14
February 23, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology
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OZONE
February 23, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Ozone
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CARTOONS 4104-15
February 23, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology
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CHINA DENIES LEINSTER HOUSE SURVEILLANCE
February 23, 2023 Craic & Codology
Chinese officials have again dismissed fears that Chinese-made CCTV cameras installed in Leinster House are spying devices. One Chinese official laughed off the accusations from a Leinster House spokesperson, saying: “The idea that we would spy on your Government is as ridiculous as your famous neutrality propaganda that your politicians talk quietly about in the… Read more »
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THOSE COST-OF-LIVING MEASURES
February 23, 2023 Craic & Codology
Electricity: Sparks will continue to fly in Fianna Fáil over who’ll succeed Micheál Martin Double child benefit: New payment to help clergy with love children Double welfare payments: Ministers to increase expenses to cover dinners in Michelin-starred restaurants 9% hospitality rate: TDs to continue drinking in sundry city centre watering holes Mortgage interest relief: Will… Read more »
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DRUG USERS CONCERNED BY ‘CASUAL POLITICS’
February 23, 2023 Craic & Codology
Drug users around the country have expressed concern about recreational politics, with many pointing to its harmful effects, including giving TDs a swollen head and leaving voters sick to their stomachs. One user said it was time to “call out” ministers’ increasingly hallucinogenic statements. “I don’t know what the Government is smoking,” said the drug… Read more »
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RESPONSES TO THOSE SINN FÉIN UNPAID POSTERS BILLS
February 23, 2023 Craic & Codology
Micheál Martin FIANNA FÁIL has always set its face against gross corruption in public life. The scandalous revelations concerning the Shinners’ abject failure regarding their outstanding election debts have sent shock waves throughout our political system. On a personal level, of course, I find it deeply troubling. In your face, Mary-Lou! Hahahaha! Paschal Donohoe THINGS HAVE… Read more »
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BERTIE’S RETURN ‘BRINGING HOPE TO FOSSIL SCIENCE’
February 23, 2023 Craic & Codology
Palaeontologists striving to recreate living dinosaurs have hailed the return of former taoiseach Bertie Ahern to the Fianna Fáil fold as “highly inspirational”. Professor Ted Rex said the return of Bertie was “living proof that his DNA never died in Fianna Fáil”. He added: “There are many fossils out there that can be regenerated, no… Read more »
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EVERYONE’S GOING… NOBODY’S LEFT GOVERNING. IT’S THE GREAT 2023 ST PATRICK’S DAY JUNKET
February 23, 2023 Craic & Codology
Off on important business to sun-drenched lands, our politicians go AWOL and leave the Irish public to fend for themselves. Leaving huge carbon footprints in their wake, they’re taking the Mick… but where can we find them?
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OIREACHTAS ROCKETING FUEL BILLS
February 23, 2023 Craic & Codology
ENERGY BILLS at Leinster House have tripled in the past year – and even larger gas charges are anticipated in the coming months. The soaring costs have led to widespread public resentment. “People might be shocked by the high electricity bill,” said an Oireachtas staff member, “but it’s just another example of the cost-of-living crisis.”… Read more »
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TDS HAIL ‘FAWLTY TOWERS’ REBOOT
February 23, 2023 Craic & Codology
Sources within Government say they are overjoyed that John Cleese is rebooting the beloved 1970s sitcom Fawlty Towers. Ministers hope the reboot, which is set in a chaotically run hotel, will provide the Cabinet with ideas on how to house asylum applicants. “Basil Fawlty is rude, arrogant and highly strung but, in fairness, he never… Read more »
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GOLDEN VISA PROGRAMME ENDS
February 23, 2023 Craic & Codology
JUSTICE MINISTER Simon Harris has announced the scrapping of the controversial golden visa programme. “I want to make it clear that I would have personally ended this migration scheme even if my officials had not insisted on it,” Mr Harris explained. “And they in turn have categorically assured me that they’re not slavishly following routine… Read more »
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