December 22, 2022 Craic & Codology

Felicitations to all in Buckingham Palace Such joy to celebrate the Christmas miracle. Yes, we’re both still here, your majesty – and with so much in common, outspoken wives, etc. At least we’re not two fuddy-duddies with their heads in the clouds. Michael D. Hiya, Eamon … A busy year, right? With your constant whining… Read more »

December 22, 2022 Craic & Codology

Hundreds of thousands of Irish football fans have tuned in to not watch the Qatar World Cup as they vowed to protest the state’s treatment of migrant workers and marginalised groups, according to the latest survey. “I didn’t watch a second of it,” says a soccer fan in Kerry. “I only tuned in for 90… Read more »

December 22, 2022 Craic & Codology

Varadkar Furniture Leo has effortlessly embraced environmental sustainability and has promised that his new Cabinet collection will contain huge amounts of deadwood. Consumers please note splits are inevitable and buyer’s remorse is assured. Micheál Martin Bicycles Sources within Fianna Fáil suggest that Micheál will be told to get on his bike and hit the road… Read more »

December 22, 2022 Craic & Codology

By Pat Squeaky An exclusive poll commissioned by this publication suggests there is a growing consensus among readers, with many united in their decision to start tuning out what this newspaper has to say. The most striking statistic is that an overwhelming 99% of respondents now find the IT’s right-wing columnists completely unreadable. “The least… Read more »

December 22, 2022 Craic & Codology

Brazil forwards RTÉ bosses are hoping their goalscoring celebration routine, with Roy Keane sitting in as judge, will prove a winner. Ryan Tubridy Shows incredible footwork in avoiding questions about his massive salary. Micheál Martin Skips brilliantly around housing and health issues; FF also consistently dancing with death in the polls. Seanie Boy Quinn Insists… Read more »

December 22, 2022 Craic & Codology

COMMUNITY LEADERS along the border have apologised “unreservedly” to Alan Dukes after accusing him of having gross ignorance and stupidity “in his blood”. The controversial remarks were made by several residents from the Cavan-Monaghan area in a recent RTÉ documentary, Mighty Quinn Country. Following a furious reaction nationwide, however, the contributors involved contacted the former… Read more »

December 22, 2022 Craic & Codology

Seán’s worried face says it all. Having made a complete hash of his business empire, the ex-tycoon now feels hurt by his treatment in a three-part RTÉ special. It’s an unbelievably cruel fate for a simple country fella who only ever wanted to swim in his mountainous piles of cash. If we don’t act now,… Read more »

December 22, 2022 Craic & Codology

By Eoin Goal GAA officials have been accused of “blatant self-interest” and having “total disregard for the wider community” following the announcement of tough penalties against anti-social behaviour and thuggery amongst players and fans. “My son lives for boxing and follows the town’s intermediate hurlers everywhere,” said a visibly upset mother in the midlands yesterday…. Read more »

December 22, 2022 Craic & Codology

by Phil Unis HIGHER EDUCATION minister Simon Harris has unveiled plans to end the “national obsession” with CAO points and transform Ireland’s education system “beyond all recognition”. Mr Harris told reporters: “My ground-breaking proposals will introduce a raft of degree courses outside the trauma-inducing points race in areas such as greasy-pole climbing, strategic career planning,… Read more »

December 22, 2022 Craic & Codology

Consultants will continue to nurse grievances Medics can avoid working Sundays and Sláintecare Education fund to include teaching government a lesson Stephen Donnelly’s career to be kept on life support Don’t mention the children’s hospital fiasco Anyone who thinks we’ll see functional universal healthcare is living on another planet

December 22, 2022 Craic & Codology

Brazil soccer boss Tite has slammed Roy Keane, after footage went viral of the ex-Irish captain scoring the winner in a BBC v ITV match in Qatar. The clip shows Keane celebrating the goal by taking off his top and jumping over a bin, before being dragged to the ground by teammates. “It’s over the… Read more »

December 1, 2022 Craic & Codology

Conor McGregor The MMA fighter has lots of experience dealing with the Irish legal system and would be the ideal candidate to drive change. His previous role of pinning down lightweights means he would work well with this Government. Bono Very popular with some members of the coalition and wouldn’t hesitate to tell them that… Read more »

December 1, 2022 Craic & Codology

Former president Mary Robinson has hit out at “governments across the board” for failing to address controversies surrounding the World Cup. Speaking to reporters, Mrs Robinson said: “Why oh why do they allow Qatar to sports-wash human rights abuses? Surely, it is time for a charismatic intermediary to sort out everything. “History provides us with… Read more »

December 1, 2022 Craic & Codology

(Dutch Tax Accountants Move In) Mysterious Ways Beautiful Windfall Even Better Grosses Than The Last Tour Stuck In A Creative Rut We Can’t Get Out Of All I Want Is Some More Sycophantic Reviews When Jared Kushner & Rupert Murdoch Come To Town