March 6, 2025 Craic & Codology

Fears are growing that Micheál Martin’s planned trip to the White House is in jeopardy following the tumultuous meeting between Donald Trump and Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelenskyy. The Taoiseach, like Zelenskyy, intended to use his visit to the Oval Office to appeal for continued assistance from the US as he remains locked in a vicious… Read more »

March 6, 2025 Craic & Codology

Artillery – Several loose cannons (Micheál Martin etc) Firearms – Cabinet going ballistic about triple lock Aircraft – Coalition getting rid of neutrality by stealth Combat vehicles – Simon Harris’s popularity tanking Tracking equipment – Nato entry going under the radar Equine – Trojan horses to be used for militarisation

March 6, 2025 Craic & Codology

Micheál Martin Regarding diplomatic links and boosting investment, my historic American visit speaks volumes – just as I myself will do when courageously stating Ireland’s steadfast position in grovelling to everything Trump wants. Simon Harris Awesome catch-up on the cards with Philly’s live-wire diaspora before hitting NYC to grab a bite of the big bagel…. Read more »

March 6, 2025 Craic & Codology

Tony Holohan: Hotly tipped by the Irish Times as the country’s most respected crisis expert, whose compassionate briefings during lockdown make him the obvious choice to protect desperate would-be homeowners from greedy lumps of landlords. Mick O’Leary: The people’s straight-talking favourite to ramp up mass production of pop-up bedsit blocks within easy 99km coach access… Read more »

March 6, 2025 Craic & Codology

MICHEÁL MARTIN has again expressed his deep sense of outrage over the National Gallery’s purchase of an unused X-ray scanner, costing €125,000. Speaking outside the new Leinster House security hut, he said: “While the cost is relatively insignificant – compared to the Children’s Hospital signed off on by Simon Harris – I am determined to… Read more »

March 6, 2025 Craic & Codology

RTÉ has been hyping up its new weekly daytime schedule, saying it looks forward to “record-setting audience figures”, as listeners turn off in droves. Among the highlights is Doireann Garrihy’s return with a new afternoon show, although most listeners had barely noticed she’d left. “We can’t wait to unveil this fresh new line-up of people… Read more »

March 6, 2025 Craic & Codology

Rumours are mounting that former taoiseach Leo Varadkar and celebrity fitness enthusiast and ex-army ranger Ray Goggins are filming a survival show in South Africa. Speaking of his delight at learning from such a renowned survival expert, Goggins said: “Leo is a master in the art of survival. He made his name ducking dangerous questions… Read more »

March 6, 2025 Craic & Codology

Despite proposed changes to the triple lock mechanism, Tánaiste Simon Harris said the Irish Government’s neutrality is not at risk and that it will remain hopelessly indecisive on a range of key issues. Nonetheless, the Tánaiste did concede the coalition would continue to employ an army of spin doctors to get its message across. “This… Read more »

March 6, 2025 Craic & Codology

RTÉ headquarters in Montrose was said to be in “the grip of fear” last night following Green Party leader Roderic O’Gorman’s call for legislation to regulate and curtail drones. The station has become a focal point for condemnation after reports that ‘stars’ such as Joe Deaffy and Miriam O’Clangahan engage in “droning on for hours… Read more »

February 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

A major political scandal has erupted after an infrastructure project was somehow completed on time and within budget. Ministers were furious about the revelations, which threaten to undermine the Government’s reputation for flagrant wasting of taxpayers’ money, following the Arts Council IT system, Dáil bike shed and RTÉ overspending fiascos. “There were definitely raised voices… Read more »

February 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

(Dishevelled man with Moses hairstyle surrounded by reporters.) Voiceover: The Monk attracts huge media attention, for example from us right now. And the notorious gangland figure stood for election, promising to make Dublin safe and lowering crime rates by decriminalising serious crime. (Grainy pic of Gerry Hutch in Bugsy Malone suit.) Voiceover: But who is… Read more »

February 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

by Phil Boots MICHEÁL MARTIN has again confirmed that the Government is actively exploring possible tax breaks for dodgy (surely private? – Ed) property developers. “We are determined to boost supply by attracting the very best quality cowboys (surely builders? – Ed) to construct new houses that won’t come crashing down immediately due to dodgy… Read more »

February 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Rent Film adaptation of the classic musical which sees Micheál Martin make a song and dance about rent pressure zones and the horrific toll they are taking on cute and cuddly investment funds. Contains a tedious amount of extended kite-flying exercises. Art Attacks Dystopian sci-fi thriller about a sinister computer programme that infiltrates the Arts… Read more »

February 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Bertie’s Diner Versatile with a ‘fishy’ flavour defines this north Dublin facility, as gaffer Bert continues to dish out his standard helpings of cod, shark and mullet as he first did over 50 years ago! “Everything fresh off the back of a lorry” is the proud slogan for meals that inevitably conclude with just desserts… Read more »

February 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Agriculture: Government really starting to get on everyone’s goat Climate: Micheál Martin feeling the heat over Mary Lou accusations Defence: Cabinet determined to love bomb the Trump administration Health: No shortage of needling between Independents and Ceann Comhairle Verona Murphy Energy: Paschal Donohoe promising to be even more long winded Migration: Ministers desperate to shift… Read more »

February 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Shock and anger continued to grip the people of Clare last night as the fallout continued over Fine Gael senator Martin Conway being arrested while drunk, disorderly and on all fours on Dublin’s O’Connell Street. “I’ve known Martin for years,” said one upset friend of Mr Conswaying. “He never mentioned being involved with Fine Gael… Read more »

February 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Following Trump’s criticism of USAid funding being used for drag shows, we look at other productions backed by the scaled-down programme. Toy Show The Musical Woke disaster featuring stereotyping, sob stories, virtue signalling and taking a knee. “At least our wasted $70,000 was peanuts compared to the €2m RTÉ squandered,” said a White House spokesperson…. Read more »

February 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Ceann comhairle Verona Murphy has admitted that not speaking Irish is getting her into trouble. “To be honest, I don’t even know what ceann comhairle means, which might explain why everyone is annoyed with me. Seán Ó Fearghaíl told me that ceann comhairle means ‘gravy train’ and I believed him! However, I like to stay… Read more »

February 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

As she once again shunned the limelight, reclusive singer Samantha Mumba has said her furious reaction to the Eurosong panel was “never about my visionary musical abilities”. In a series of social media posts, Mumba reiterated that she didn’t want to draw attention to herself and was simply questioning if the panel were aware of… Read more »

February 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Irish rugby boss Simon Easterby says Sam Prendergast is taking his newfound stardom in his stride and feels the out-half is being “overhyped just the right amount”. As Ireland gear up for a Six Nations clash with Wales, Easterby says there is even the possibility of Prendergast being talked-up further. “Obviously Scotland are world beaters,”… Read more »