March 21, 2024 Craic & Codology

Russian President Vladimir Putin has said he drew inspiration from the Irish government’s record defeat in recent referenda to help secure his landslide election victory. Putin announced: “None of this would have been possible without the hilarious example set by the Irish government. They helped remind me of just how thoroughly you can be humiliated… Read more »

March 21, 2024 Craic & Codology

By All Hacks Not since Cú Chulainn single-handedly routed all comers in the 41AD Champions League Handball Olympics or since Bono brought peace to Northern Ireland has an Irishman reached the Herculean heights now attained by our very own Cillian Murphy. (Excellent start – Ed.) Admirable as America’s glory was when it put a man… Read more »

March 21, 2024 Craic & Codology

As one of the longest serving moustac – er, members of Dáil Éireann, it saddens me to see my mighty Fianna Fáil bow to the woeful woke agenda with a multifarious mix of hate bills, greenways and homespun referendums! What is happening is nothing short of neglect turning to tragedy! Where is our party’s tradition… Read more »

March 21, 2024 Craic & Codology

In the rush to understand the overwhelming No vote in the recent referendums, there has been a glaring oversight of key factors, most notably the inherent Catholic conservatism of the current liberal epoch. In his influential post-modernist text, Hopelessly Pretentious, US academic Trevor Trendy contends that modern progressive politics is mired in psychosomatic didacticism. Certainly,… Read more »

March 21, 2024 Craic & Codology

The Irish rugby team recently received delivery of the Six Nations trophy, which sportswriters everywhere are now considering an annual guarantee. Details of next year’s collection date and time are to be confirmed.

March 21, 2024 Craic & Codology

The royal family are at the centre of fresh uproar after a heavily doctored image was sent to photo agencies. Suspicions were aroused after it was noticed that the picture showed Kate Middleton and her children on the moon. “Like everyone else, I try my hand at amateur photo editing,” said Middleton in an X… Read more »

March 21, 2024 Craic & Codology

by Hans Wringing The bombshell report into the activities of British Army double-agent Freddie Scappaticci, code-named Stakeknife, has uncovered widespread wrongdoing linking him to countless murders during the 1980s. “The notorious Stakeknife case shows us just how dreadful things were back then and that something really should have been done at the time,” said Chief… Read more »

March 21, 2024 Craic & Codology

As a doctor I’m often asked to explain complex medical conditions in a simple-to-understand manner. This week I’ll be talking about measles and the devastating impact it can have on political leaders. Measles attack the body in the same way that the average Fianna Fáil politician attacked yours truly after the recent referenda. Like the… Read more »

March 21, 2024 Craic & Codology

Garda Commissioner Drew Harris has found himself embroiled in a new row, after a 24-hour period elapsed with no fresh Garda controversies. With no gardaí suspended for removing bikes from their local station or for any other offence, calls have grown for Harris’s resignation as the force threatens to implode due to an unprecedented period… Read more »

March 7, 2024 Craic & Codology

International aid organisations have repeated their calls for an immediate humanitarian ceasefire to put a halt to the bloodbath being self-inflicted upon the RTÉ board. “We just want them to lay down their weapons and try go one single day without shooting themselves in the foot or triggering yet more incredibly damaging explosive revelations,” said… Read more »

March 7, 2024 Craic & Codology

Here they are – the front-runners to replace last week’s occupant in the RTÉ hot seat. Niamh Brennan Leading academic with a proven record as the go-to saviour of failing state organisations. One insider (her husband) said: “She did a fantastic job of governance on me, advising me throughout my countless triumphs as justice minister…. Read more »

March 7, 2024 Craic & Codology

Farmers throughout the country have reacted with fury to the new Nature Restoration Bill. Irish MEPs, however, have generally welcomed the legislation. “It’s a great deal for us – although obviously not for many farmers,” said Ciarán Guff. But rural TDs have hit out at the legislation. “Green ecosystem nonsense and half-baked claptrap about rewilding… Read more »

March 7, 2024 Craic & Codology

Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has clarified that the reference to “durable relationships” in the proposed constitutional amendment does not include the current coalition. With the Government increasingly likely to be booted out at the next election, their relationship is instead coming apart at the seams. “Craven lust for power is the fundamental unit of this Government,”… Read more »

March 7, 2024 Craic & Codology

The IRFU has dismissed criticism that recent Six Nations matches have been played to “deafening silence” and that “Mars currently has a better atmosphere than the Aviva Stadium”, saying it’s what match-goers want. Said one spokesperson: “The few high-flying corporate execs who can still afford tickets to live games are busy people. They need to… Read more »

March 7, 2024 Craic & Codology

Catherine’s Car Crash Has been having an absolute ’mare since arriving on the scene back in 2020 and was thought by experts to be well off the pace. However, she impressed many with her ability to run for cover when things got tough during the RTÉ hurdle recently. Ireland’s Unanswered Call Credible runners and riders… Read more »

March 7, 2024 Craic & Codology

CATHOLIC BISHOPS have repeated their call for a ‘No’ vote in the referenda on the role of care and the definition of a family. In a statement issued last night, the Irish hierarchy said: “Everyone recognises the enormous commitment that women in Ireland have given as mothers and homemakers. “Their enduring service within stable marriages… Read more »

March 7, 2024 Craic & Codology

In a new condemnation of Satanic influence being exerted by art and media entities, Boyzone crooner Shane Lynch has warned against falling under the influence of RTÉ. “That place has completely gone to Hell,” said the 47-year-old singer. “People don’t understand what is happening when they see finger-pointing and shoulder-shrugging ritually practised on air, even… Read more »

March 7, 2024 Craic & Codology

Several Irish actors have made dramatic late entrances into the Oscars race, with members of the Oireachtas committees charged with questioning Catherine Martin and RTÉ board members being hailed for their scenery-chewing performances. In particular, Shane Cassells and Alan Dillon have enjoyed a late surge thanks to their epic grandstanding and melodramatic delivery. “The Oireachtas… Read more »

March 7, 2024 Craic & Codology

The recent snowfall that surprisingly blanketed the country has issued a statement of apology to an embarrassed Met Éireann, which was caught unawares. The snow has promised, in future, to keep the meteorological service informed of all plans to make an appearance.