March 7, 2024 Craic & Codology

Catherine’s Car Crash Has been having an absolute ’mare since arriving on the scene back in 2020 and was thought by experts to be well off the pace. However, she impressed many with her ability to run for cover when things got tough during the RTÉ hurdle recently. Ireland’s Unanswered Call Credible runners and riders… Read more »

March 7, 2024 Craic & Codology

CATHOLIC BISHOPS have repeated their call for a ‘No’ vote in the referenda on the role of care and the definition of a family. In a statement issued last night, the Irish hierarchy said: “Everyone recognises the enormous commitment that women in Ireland have given as mothers and homemakers. “Their enduring service within stable marriages… Read more »

March 7, 2024 Craic & Codology

In a new condemnation of Satanic influence being exerted by art and media entities, Boyzone crooner Shane Lynch has warned against falling under the influence of RTÉ. “That place has completely gone to Hell,” said the 47-year-old singer. “People don’t understand what is happening when they see finger-pointing and shoulder-shrugging ritually practised on air, even… Read more »

March 7, 2024 Craic & Codology

Several Irish actors have made dramatic late entrances into the Oscars race, with members of the Oireachtas committees charged with questioning Catherine Martin and RTÉ board members being hailed for their scenery-chewing performances. In particular, Shane Cassells and Alan Dillon have enjoyed a late surge thanks to their epic grandstanding and melodramatic delivery. “The Oireachtas… Read more »

March 7, 2024 Craic & Codology

The recent snowfall that surprisingly blanketed the country has issued a statement of apology to an embarrassed Met Éireann, which was caught unawares. The snow has promised, in future, to keep the meteorological service informed of all plans to make an appearance.

February 22, 2024 Craic & Codology

The national broadcaster has announced that it is to offer advertisers a unique opportunity to sponsor its massively generous severance payouts to former executives. In a press release to advertisers, the broadcaster said: “The calls by politicians for RTÉ to publish the details of every senior executive’s exit package since 2016 represents a unique and… Read more »

February 22, 2024 Craic & Codology

By Our Pre-Election Staff SOCIAL PROTECTION minister Heather Humphreys has warmly welcomed her splendidly timed decision to bring forward the extension of child benefit to 18-year-olds in full-time education to May 1. Speaking to Fine Gael supporters last night, she said: “Obviously, up to now, there was no sense of urgency about tackling this issue… Read more »

February 22, 2024 Craic & Codology

The political world has been left reeling by breathtaking reports that a current Fine Gael TD is planning on running for re-election when the country goes to the polls within the next 12 months. This unprecedented move has left the party scrambling to prepare itself to actually field an incumbent. Said one flustered official: “We… Read more »

February 22, 2024 Craic & Codology

RTÉ’s Home of the Year is back with some jaw-dropping projects designed to leave viewers gasping. The highlight of the latest series is likely to be an extensive new build in south central Dublin, which has been under construction since 2016. “This is one of the most lavish projects in the world,” explained on-site manager… Read more »

February 22, 2024 Craic & Codology

Colonoscopy – media up my ass again Incontinence – more shite about me in the media Hypertension – hacks won’t leave me alone Bile – what these reporters come out with Nerve – possessed in abundance by newspaper editors Inflammation – journos poking at old wounds

February 22, 2024 Craic & Codology

By Pa Nic Everyone who values this country’s freedom, peace and democracy will be holding their children closer today in the wake of Sinn Féin’s reckless proposal to grant an amnesty to all those who failed to purchase a TV licence. Allowing these lawless goggleboxarians to walk around as if they have done nothing wrong… Read more »

February 22, 2024 Craic & Codology

PRESIDENT JOE Biden (81) stunned the world of politics last night by saying something relatively sensible during a brief White House press conference. In a defiant response to reporters’ questions, he appeared to clearly remember that this is an election year throughout a gruelling three-minute encounter. At no stage did he refer to Egypt’s current… Read more »

February 22, 2024 Craic & Codology

In common with all other newspapers, following last year’s World Cup, we may have given the impression that the Irish rugby team were an overhyped bunch of posers. In particular, this may have been reinforced by headlines such as ‘FARRELL’S FLOPS HIT ROCK BOTTOM’, ‘IRELAND’S ABYSMAL FRENCH FAILURE’ and ‘AU REVOIR TROPHY CHANCES’. However, following… Read more »

February 22, 2024 Craic & Codology

The joint Oireachtas committee on assisted dying has confirmed it has received numerous expressions of interest from Fine Gael TDs about so-called mercy killings. Several Blueshirt politicians are believed to be facing certain electoral death at the next general election and this has prompted a spate of retirement announcements. However, some experts say allowing deputies… Read more »

February 22, 2024 Craic & Codology

The creative team involved with the ill-fated Toy Show The Musical has moved to distance itself from RTÉ, saying the national broadcaster has been “doomed from the outset”. Embroiled in a non-stop series of disasters, engulfed in controversy and broadcasting a relentless schedule of turgid comedy and drama, RTÉ has become a major embarrassment to… Read more »