Category: Hush Hush

WHAT NOW FOR THOSE BIG NAME LOSERS?

Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 12 December 2024

Stephen Donnelly

Stephen Donnelly Having demonstrated his skills with the Soc Dems and Fianna Fáil, Stephen is now considering sharing the leadership of other political parties but insists that he will only talk to anyone. Gerry ‘The Monk’ Hutch Despite being crucified by CAB, this ascetic figure continues his devout criminal lifestyle, wandering the back streets of… Read more »

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RTÉ HYPES NEW KEYES ADAPTATION

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 12 December 2024

Marian Keyes

RTÉ is expecting to set a new hype-generation record with its upcoming adaptation of Marian ‘It’s not chic-lit’ Keyes’s huge-selling Walsh Sisters saga – which treads daring new ground in the comedy/drama field, featuring as it does the lives of women in their late 20s and 30s. “We think this will take viewers where they’ve… Read more »

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KEY POINTS OF THAT MERCOSUR TRADE DEAL

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 12 December 2024

Mercosur

Meat: Politicians will continue talking tripe Transport: Farmers about to be taken for a ride Commerce: EU determined to sell out indigenous peoples Dairy: Usual suspects will continue to cream profits Poultry: Irish government will find a way to chicken out Climate: Environmentalists frozen out as usual

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GOLDHAWK PREVIEWS THE FESTIVE SEASON’S MOST POPULAR PANTOS

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 12 December 2024

michael martin Gaeity panto

Frozen Out RTÉ royalty Claire Byrne decides to ditch her long-time agent, Noel Kelly, following an 18-month spell that was far from a fairytale. Noel is now forced to work for very large amounts of peanuts in order to keep himself in the style to which he has become accustomed. Goldilocks and Government Formation Goldilocks… Read more »

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MCGREGOR REACTS TO BRANDS RUNNING SCARED

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 12 December 2024

Conor McGregor

CONOR McGREGOR has hit out at brands and businesses that cut ties with the one-time mixed martial arts fighter after his High Court knock-out. In a post on social media last night, the former UFC star said: “These cowardly snowflakes forget that my all-macho whiskey beats every other sissy brand on the market – and… Read more »

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IRISH CELEBS’ CHRISTMAS PLANS

Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 12 December 2024

Rory McIlroy

Rory McIlroy I spend a lot of time abroad but I’m very confident of having a good Christmas in Ireland after landing a few big turkeys this year. I’m hoping Santa brings me a new putter as my one seems a bit wonky. And my last one. And the one before that… Roy Keane For… Read more »

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BAND AID AT 40 (THOUSAND WORDS)

Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 12 December 2024

Budget Jack Chambers Nicki Minaj B’Tselem Phil Hogan UCD IRTA DIGI Katy Brown Rory Godson Pallonji Mistry Shark Hanlon Frances Ruane Taste of Dublin Listowel Writers’ Week Paddy Curran Harvey Norman Anton Savage Paul Hourican Enda O’Coineen PfP Red C Poll IFTA Ben Gilroy Luke Comer Sue Spence Fingleton Aubrey McCarthy Matt Cooper Parker Green Danny McConnell Gayle Killilea Maura Derivan Ed Honohan INS Arts Council EDAF Emuse Rosslare Golf Club Mairead Casey Colm O’Rourke Stephen Connolly Peter Aiken John Malone Tom Barry Anthony Halpin Ian Kehoe Kevin Bakhurst Geraldine O’Leary Dennis Horgan RUSI Gareth McAllister Ryevale House Joe Macken RUC Omagh Patrick Connolly Paddy Cosgrave The Ditch Newstalk Fake Tan Fred Logue Ian Paisley Sean O’Riordan Margaret Sweeney Jay Bourke Ellie Kisyombe Francesca McDonagh Ted Cunningham National Space Centre An Irish Goodbye Oscar Robert Quirke Ciara Kelly Executive Women Gathering Doug Taylor Florian Haufe Robbie Henshaw Bill Shipsey Breaking the Silence L’Ecrivain Ronan McNally National Lottery Michael Roche Energy Action Balls.ie Newspapers VAT Abbey Theatre Patricia Madden Irish Banking Culture Board Randox Aoife Gallagher Book Dalai Lama Trinity Trevor White RTÉ Chairperson Shane Houlihan Noel Smyth IKC Bob Geldof Landlord Ireland Neutrality Ukraine

By all entertainment hacks Forty years ago, Bob Geldof and Midge Ure revolutionised pop music with the all-time classic ‘Do They Know Bob Geldof Is A Genius?’ Since then, the song has become a festive staple, soundtracking countless retrospectives and documentaries, in which Yell-dof sounds off about his visionary musical ability. “I’m pretty fookin’ reclusive… Read more »

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FAI HAILS WOMEN’S PERFORMANCE

Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 12 December 2024

Katie McCabe

The FAI has expressed its enthusiasm for the women’s team’s recent form, saying their crushing play-off loss to Wales is in keeping with the identity of the organisation’s failings. Furthermore, the nature of the mortifying Aviva implosion – following a promising first leg – also parallels the men’s team’s capacity to self-destruct. “What we are… Read more »

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CHRISTMAS CELEBRITY CHARITY AUCTION!

Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 12 December 2024

Eamon Ryan

We are happy to offer you the chance to bid on these exclusive items donated by the great and the good: • Book: How to Win Friends and Influence People, signed by Simon Harris • Assortment of Gregg Wallace’s pork pies • Roy Keane’s poppy • Eamon Ryan’s frequent-flyer card • FAI match programme with… Read more »

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OZONE

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, Ozone, 28 November 2024

Ozone-11-29-24

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SIMON HARRASS ADDRESSES THE NATION

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 28 November 2024

Simon Harris

My fellow citizens, it is clear to me that Irish people are sick of soundbite politicians obsessed with building their social media followings. Adrift in a narcissistic online culture, too many TDs are hopelessly removed from vital real-world concerns – a point I made during my live DJ set on Twitch last night. As we… Read more »

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GERRY ‘THE MONK’ HUTCH’S POLITICAL PRIORITIES IN FULL

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 28 November 2024

Hutch election

Infrastructure: Prevent people from appearing in the dock Graffiti: Do something about the writing on the wall European Union: Put an end to all diplomatic relations with Spain Inflation: Find out where all these new charges came from Urban renewal: Tackle the terrible rat problem at once Hospitality: Avoid sending anyone behind bars Diversity: Urge… Read more »

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IRISH ELECTION: FOREIGN LEADERS REACT

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 28 November 2024

Kemi Badenoch

Kemi Badenoch Thrilled that so many sassy women candidates are sick to death of the woke liberal elite. Take heart from GB, where the Tories recently romped home with a whopping 251 lost seats. Giorgia Meloni Voters should reach out to concerned candidates who can sort out any opportunistic non-white migrants sneaking into voters’ homeless… Read more »

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GREENS IN OPPOSITION

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 28 November 2024

Roderic O'Gorman

Green Party activists have strenuously denied they are hostile to housing following a string of embarrassing gaffes during the election campaign. The latest controversy arose after it emerged one of their outgoing TDs opposed a development that he was later photographed launching. Members have dismissed accusations of hypocrisy and opportunistic behaviour and point to what… Read more »

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IS IT TIME TO BAN ARTICLES ABOUT BANNING ELECTION POSTERS?

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 28 November 2024

Election posters

With just days to go until voters head to the polls, articles about banning election posters seem to be scattered across every newspaper in the country. While some people object to the adverse impact of these disposable opinion pieces, others defend their role in the election process. Said one Dubliner: “They’re not remotely interesting, so… Read more »

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THOSE ELECTION PLEDGES

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 28 November 2024

Simon Harris

LAW & ORDER FINE GAEL We pledge to end street brawling between TDs, the backstabbing of Cabinet members and political rivals cruelly tearing strips off Helen McEnnui. FIANNA FÁIL We vow to get Willie O’Dea under immediate control and lock away James Browne to prevent him doing any more controversial radio interviews. IMMIGRATION FINE GAEL… Read more »

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HARRIS: “NO SHORTAGE OF SUITABLE CANDIDATES”

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 28 November 2024

Budget Jack Chambers Nicki Minaj B’Tselem Phil Hogan UCD IRTA DIGI Katy Brown Rory Godson Pallonji Mistry Shark Hanlon Frances Ruane Taste of Dublin Listowel Writers’ Week Paddy Curran Harvey Norman Anton Savage Paul Hourican Enda O’Coineen PfP Red C Poll IFTA Ben Gilroy Luke Comer Sue Spence Fingleton Aubrey McCarthy Matt Cooper Parker Green Danny McConnell Gayle Killilea Maura Derivan Ed Honohan INS Arts Council EDAF Emuse Rosslare Golf Club Mairead Casey Colm O’Rourke Stephen Connolly Peter Aiken John Malone Tom Barry Anthony Halpin Ian Kehoe Kevin Bakhurst Geraldine O’Leary Dennis Horgan RUSI Gareth McAllister Ryevale House Joe Macken RUC Omagh Patrick Connolly Paddy Cosgrave The Ditch Newstalk Fake Tan Fred Logue Ian Paisley Sean O’Riordan Margaret Sweeney Jay Bourke Ellie Kisyombe Francesca McDonagh Ted Cunningham National Space Centre An Irish Goodbye Oscar Robert Quirke Ciara Kelly Executive Women Gathering Doug Taylor Florian Haufe Robbie Henshaw Bill Shipsey Breaking the Silence L’Ecrivain Ronan McNally National Lottery Michael Roche Energy Action Balls.ie Newspapers VAT Abbey Theatre Patricia Madden Irish Banking Culture Board Randox Aoife Gallagher Book Dalai Lama Trinity Trevor White RTÉ Chairperson Shane Houlihan Noel Smyth IKC Bob Geldof Landlord Ireland Neutrality Ukraine

On foot of his defence of John McGahon, Simon Harris suggests other personalities he might consider as Fine Gael vote winners. Michael O’Leary The shy, retiring Ryanair boss is already a firm favourite within Blueshirt circles. Having called out the country’s lacklustre teachers and seen off Green Party eco-warriors intent on annoying him, Mick should… Read more »

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ELECTION FACT FILE SO FAR

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 28 November 2024

Most favoured coalition: Paul Mescal & Lee Carsley New swear words invented by householders: 961 Percentage of radio audience who nodded off listening to Pat Kenny election specials: 78% Percentage of south Kerry electorate who understood what Danny Healy-Rae said: 1.5% Number of people swayed to vote for government parties following ‘giveaway’ brib… er, budget:… Read more »

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ELECTION LEXICON

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 28 November 2024

Budget Jack Chambers Nicki Minaj B’Tselem Phil Hogan UCD IRTA DIGI Katy Brown Rory Godson Pallonji Mistry Shark Hanlon Frances Ruane Taste of Dublin Listowel Writers’ Week Paddy Curran Harvey Norman Anton Savage Paul Hourican Enda O’Coineen PfP Red C Poll IFTA Ben Gilroy Luke Comer Sue Spence Fingleton Aubrey McCarthy Matt Cooper Parker Green Danny McConnell Gayle Killilea Maura Derivan Ed Honohan INS Arts Council EDAF Emuse Rosslare Golf Club Mairead Casey Colm O’Rourke Stephen Connolly Peter Aiken John Malone Tom Barry Anthony Halpin Ian Kehoe Kevin Bakhurst Geraldine O’Leary Dennis Horgan RUSI Gareth McAllister Ryevale House Joe Macken RUC Omagh Patrick Connolly Paddy Cosgrave The Ditch Newstalk Fake Tan Fred Logue Ian Paisley Sean O’Riordan Margaret Sweeney Jay Bourke Ellie Kisyombe Francesca McDonagh Ted Cunningham National Space Centre An Irish Goodbye Oscar Robert Quirke Ciara Kelly Executive Women Gathering Doug Taylor Florian Haufe Robbie Henshaw Bill Shipsey Breaking the Silence L’Ecrivain Ronan McNally National Lottery Michael Roche Energy Action Balls.ie Newspapers VAT Abbey Theatre Patricia Madden Irish Banking Culture Board Randox Aoife Gallagher Book Dalai Lama Trinity Trevor White RTÉ Chairperson Shane Houlihan Noel Smyth IKC Bob Geldof Landlord Ireland Neutrality Ukraine

♦ Harrisment: Term used to describe when the leader of your country rings your doorbell to request a favour. ♦ Polls: Things for hanging smiling posters on. Eg: ‘I see you’re high on the polls on the road to the abattoir.’ ♦ Baciking: The art of never saying anything too disparaging about government in case… Read more »

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MICHEÁL MARCHES ON

Affairs, Hush Hush, 9 June 2022

The confidence-and-supply deal reflected Micheál Martin’s lack of belief in his party’s ability to take on FG in a general election.

WHILE NATO is laden still with political risk, an EU defence pact and Irish participation is considered a done deal. In this domestic context, the former is now being used to sweeten the latter pill. The mature debate on Irish neutrality rumbles on, led by the most responsible and considerate political leaders. Micheál Martin says… Read more »

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COVENEY’S COMPASS? EU ARMY MARCHES ON

Affairs, Hush Hush, 10 November 2021

Simon Coveney

IF THE past twenty months had not already provided enough grounds for optimism, we can look forward to “the year of European defence” in 2022. The idea was proclaimed in a speech by European Council President Charles Michel last month and it reflects growing confidence among EU militarists that the momentum is firmly in their… Read more »

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