August 22, 2024 Craic & Codology

Australian popstar and Leo Varadkar superfan dedicated her headline performance at last weekend’s Electric Picnic to her “idol”, the former Fine Gael leader and ex-taoiseach. Addressing the crowd on Sunday, Kylie said: “Anyone who tells you to never meet your hero has clearly never met Leo Varadkar. I’ll never forget how, back in 2019, he… Read more »

August 22, 2024 Craic & Codology

The World Health Organization has issued a grave new warning over the rise in ‘poxy politics’, with Ireland said to be especially vulnerable to the virus. The threat is only expected to grow as the general election nears, with voters set to experience intense feelings of nausea as TDs make their usual empty promises. “It… Read more »

August 22, 2024 Craic & Codology

Taoiseach Simon Harris has vowed to “get tough” with social media giants, with a series of hard-hitting measures that leading tech companies are set to completely ignore. In a strongly worded TikTok post, the Taoiseach vowed: “I am intent on tackling abuse on social media platforms – as soon as I can get them to… Read more »

August 22, 2024 Craic & Codology

Exclusive ‘Running From Reality’ extract IMAGINE MY self-satisfaction as my new friend led me into his lavish taoiseach’s office and begged me to be housing minister. “The others are completely useless,” he confided. “And try growing a posh hipster beard to attract younger voters.” Amazingly, just three years later, his enduring trust in me was… Read more »

August 22, 2024 Craic & Codology

Gráinne Seoige’s background in light entertainment makes her an ideal Fianna Fáil election candidate, according to party sources. Given the recent speculation about Seoige seeking an FF nomination in Galway West, her experience with lightweight, fluffy subject matter is seen as a major advantage. “She is very comfortable with throwaway topics no one takes seriously,”… Read more »

August 22, 2024 Craic & Codology

Continuing the fast-paced travel series with Clare man Davy Fitzgerald as he looks to visit and work in every county in Ireland, this week the intrepid sportsman stops off in County Antrim. While there, he tutors locals on how best to use a stick in combat, drawing on his vast experiences of coming off second… Read more »

August 22, 2024 Craic & Codology

Cross-cultural Communication Based at the Belfast campus, participants are immersed in a very intense atmosphere where every aspect of racial and religious diversity is examined by some very classless individuals. Expect plenty of testing situations and a high degree owf boorishness. Healthcare HSE officials will guide undergrads on their scholarly journey as they learn how… Read more »

August 22, 2024 Craic & Codology

Dangers Allowance  Knife in the back from party colleague €300 Getting it in the neck from constituents €200 Rug being pulled out from under €500 Getting kicked up the arse at elections €850 Ambushed on Morning Ireland €400 Tongue-lashed by a Healy-Rae €800 Knocked off high horse by voters €450 Dragged kicking and screaming into… Read more »

August 22, 2024 Craic & Codology

FINE GAEL TD Richard ‘The Body’ Bruton has called for bigger incentives to encourage rural motorists to switch to electric vehicles immediately. “It’s vital to help ordinary people outside urban centres to avail of cheaper EVs,” said the former minister. “And with a general election around the corner, this would also enable ordinary governments to… Read more »

August 8, 2024 Craic & Codology

Members of the Irish far-right have defended organising what they are labelling as a “lively and spirited al fresco debate around the merits of immigration” in Belfast city centre last weekend. Dave O’Hooligan, a spokesperson for the nativist party People of Ireland Stand Strong (PISS), described the occasion as a “frank and robust exchange of… Read more »

August 8, 2024 Craic & Codology

Fianna Fáil members say they are “delighted but not surprised” by the polished performances of Siobhán Haughey at the Paris Olympics. Representing Hong Kong, the grand-niece of former FF leader Charlie Haughey took bronze in the 100m freestyle swim. “Charlie would have been so proud to see how adept Siobhán was at ducking and diving… Read more »

August 8, 2024 Craic & Codology

by PD O’Phile THE GALWAY diocese is considering moving the remains of Bishop Eamonn Casey from the cathedral crypt after new revelations of child abuse levelled against him. In a statement, Bishop Michael Digman said that the issue required a suitable period of careful reflection and consultation – mainly with Vatican HQ. “The fact that… Read more »

August 8, 2024 Craic & Codology

Blueshirt Exodus This noisy outfit are known for their incessant wailing and a string of dreadful records such as ‘Children’s Hospital’ and ‘Housing Crisis’. New frontman Simon Harris is hoping to claw back some former fans but music lovers, much like Fine Gael TDs, are rushing for the exits. Sour Grapes Contains disgruntled members of… Read more »

August 8, 2024 Craic & Codology

Speculation has been rife that RTÉ may be planning to allow Ryan ‘Tub$’ Tubridy back on air. Suspicions began after the Government announced an injection of €725m into the RTÉ coffers. “As soon as I heard the massive figures I thought, You-Know-Who is coming back,” sighed one concerned licence-fee payer. “Unless Ray D’Arcy is doing… Read more »

August 8, 2024 Craic & Codology

Greetings, a chara, the president of Iran, I lift my pen so I can say holla! And that I am a fan Of both you and that man They call the wonderful Ayatollah!

August 8, 2024 Craic & Codology

THE CONTROVERSIAL new Kneecap movie, based on the rise and rise of the west Belfast Irish-language hip-hop trio, has already taken cinema audiences by storm. Since its release last night, thousands of ecstatic journalists have been queuing up to get their reviews and filler articles into print. “We just can’t get enough of Kneecap,” said… Read more »

August 8, 2024 Craic & Codology

Following on from the news that the Saipan saga is to be made into a film starring Steve Coogan, there is increasing speculation that more films will be made about the travails of the FAI, with industry insiders even speculating the association has provided sufficient material to become its own genre. “The only drawback is… Read more »

August 8, 2024 Craic & Codology

President Higgins: Edna O’Brien was one of the first great writers (along with myself) to provide a voice to the female Irish experience and together we truly transformed their status. She wasn’t a gifted poet, of course. But then, there are so very few of us around. John Banville: Edna has always been there for… Read more »

August 8, 2024 Craic & Codology

Following the ignominious unveiling of a waxwork of Sinéad O’Connor, other waxworks have been removed after a public outcry over the lifeless models. Dozens of TDs and senators are set to be go deep storage after it became apparent many were standing on ceremony, earning massive salaries and expenses, despite standing still and doing literally… Read more »

August 8, 2024 Craic & Codology

There was widespread jubilation throughout Ireland as a six-year investigation conducted by the High Court into INM found no breaches of company law. “We are delighted that this, exonerating report will do nothing to alter people’s pre-existing opinions of Denis O’Brien and INM,” said one exultant citizen.