October 3, 2024 Craic & Codology

Child Benefit Increase Every child to benefit, eventually, from hundreds of millions being handed to BAM for the National Children’s Hospital. Inheritance Tax Raised Next government to inherit an even more taxing fiasco with housing. Winter Heating Allowance Plenty more stories of costly Leinster House improvements to keep people hot under the collar. Public Transport… Read more »

October 3, 2024 Craic & Codology

In what is being seen as a major diplomatic coup, Simon Harris is set to make a highly publicised visit to the Taoiseach’s office. The trip will mark a major change from Harris’s usual schedule, which is normally crammed with photo ops with the likes of Keir Starmer, Joe Biden and Wednesday director Tim Burton,… Read more »

October 3, 2024 Craic & Codology

JUSTICE MINISTER Helen McEntee has defended the Government’s decision to drop the hate speech elements from proposed legislation. According to the frazzled minister: “This is an extremely sensitive issue that divides TDs. But it is clearly now time for strong decisive action, so I am therefore shelving it indefinitely.” Taoiseach Simon Harris immediately took to… Read more »

October 3, 2024 Craic & Codology

♦ Black hole in the finances ♦ Steam coming out of the public’s ears ♦ Walls of silence around opening date ♦ Roof caving in on Stephen Donnelly ♦ Cracks appearing in the coalition ♦ Simon Harris no longer fireproof ♦ Board skirting hard questions

October 3, 2024 Craic & Codology

The Letter I will arise now and go everywhere I can To explain about the letter that I posted to Iran. For a new president they have there, and just to show I care, I said ‘fair play’ to the lad with the beard and grey hair. And now I have no peace here, no… Read more »

October 3, 2024 Craic & Codology

Following on from the €336,000 bike shed and €1.4m security hut, news that a structure in Government buildings was completed for a reasonable price has been called “ridiculous” by Government ministers, who said they were shocked to hear of the modest figure. “Unfortunately, we were unable to complete the project for a higher price,” said… Read more »

October 3, 2024 Craic & Codology

My Life as a Filthy Rich Libel Lawyer Honestly, I rarely think about being Hollywood’s most powerful man. It just goes with the whole celebrity lawyer territory as confidante to the most visible and sometimes most vulnerable stars on earth. Prince Andrew, Tom Cruise, Britney, Johnny Depp… They all have such deep, deep respect for… Read more »

October 3, 2024 Craic & Codology

Irish Rail will be called before the Oireachtas transport committee after a train reached its destination on time. The development has caused huge frustration amongst commuters, who have become used to delayed services and overcrowded carriages following a recent timetable revision. “The timely arrival was unfortunately caused by an unexpected lack of technical and fault… Read more »

October 3, 2024 Craic & Codology

By Enda Tyme There was growing anger yet again across Ireland yesterday as contractors BAM indicated that the anticipated date for the next announcement of a further delay in completing the National Children’s Hospital would be delayed. “Unfortunately, due to circumstances totally beyond our control, we won’t be ready on schedule to announce the next… Read more »

October 3, 2024 Craic & Codology

THERE WAS widespread shock yesterday after it emerged that Simeon Burke had not interrupted any court proceedings, been involved in protests outside the Law Library or generally acted the maggot. Instead, the aspiring top barrister joined his family in Co Mayo where he relaxed and perused The Bible, looking for inspiration. Simeon then wrote to… Read more »

October 3, 2024 Craic & Codology

I’ve never shied away from the physical side of the game and there’s no doubt my body has taken its fair share of hits over the years. However, one thing which always mystified me was the utterly false accusation that there’s a problem with my windpipe. Throughout my playing career I was regularly accused by… Read more »

September 19, 2024 Craic & Codology

Michael O’Leary “This government – in particular Eamon ‘Hates Flyin’ Ryan – are even bigger fools than I thought if they don’t instantly use this money to build another four runways at Dublin Airport. If they don’t, this shower clearly don’t give a fiddler’s about growing my bonus – er, I mean, Ireland’s economy.” Rory… Read more »

September 19, 2024 Craic & Codology

Apple has launched a new app allowing multinationals to calculate how much tax they may owe under ECJ rulings. At a glitzy presentation in Silicon Valley, Tim Cook said the product proved hugely effective in totting up the €14 billion Apple owed Ireland in tax. “It’s also helpful for calculating the number of times Irish… Read more »

September 19, 2024 Craic & Codology

Following on from his suggestion to brand Shannon Airport as Shannon (Dublin), the Junior Minister for Going Places, James Clueless, has issued more travel advice on how best to travel to destinations in Ireland. Minister Clueless advises drivers with appointments in Dublin to park the car in Galway and “make your way on foot” to… Read more »

September 19, 2024 Craic & Codology

It wasn’t easy being the greatest Taoiseach of all time. As usual, the papers were full of stories about me supposedly leaking stuff. Didn’t they recognise my unique leadership capabilities? The fact that I’d overseen an unprecedented period of social progress and incredible economic prosperity? As if that wasn’t enough, my concern was Ireland’s growing… Read more »

September 19, 2024 Craic & Codology

GAA still don’t get the point over pay-per-view games Towel to be thrown in on the provincial championships Jarlath Burns denies he’s running for Áras an Uachtaráin Usual suspects to keep hurling criticism at organisation Moving All-Ireland finals to July was terrible solo run Organisation powerless to tackle Sunday Game blandness No penalties for laughing… Read more »

September 19, 2024 Craic & Codology

Britain takes back Rory McIlroy Ireland eases off a bit at Cheltenham RTÉ must take Tubridy back three days a week King Charles to throw in the sliothar for the next 10 All-Ireland hurling finals Michael D’s head to appear on British 50c coins Fine Gael to be gradually subsumed into the British Tory Party… Read more »

September 19, 2024 Craic & Codology

The vape industry is proposing a ban on disposable politicians, with concern mounting about the damaging effects of ‘no use’ TDs. Cheap and addicted to power, the deputies are attempting to appeal to young people ahead of the next election. “Throwaway politicians like Stephen Donnelly need to be tackled,” said an industry insider. “It’s clear… Read more »

September 19, 2024 Craic & Codology

By all broadsheet reviewers To imagine the genius of Sally Rooney’s new novel, Intersnoozo, one must first bring to mind the collected works of Flaubert, Dostoyevsky and Fitzgerald, combine them with Citizen Kane and The Godfather, and then add in the greatness of The Beatles and The Rolling Stones. Such a description almost captures the… Read more »

September 19, 2024 Craic & Codology

Top Gun High-flying motormouth Michael O’Leary sets himself on a collision course with transport minister Eamon Ryan over the issue of passenger numbers. O’Leary’s attacks soon reach kamikaze levels of fanaticism but Ryan is determined to remain on autopilot. Trees A Crowd In order to prove his credentials as a committed environmentalist, Simon Harris decides… Read more »

September 19, 2024 Craic & Codology

Ireland soccer boss Heimir Hallgrimsson has already apologised ahead of next month’s Nations League games against Finland and Greece, with his side expected to lose both to a second half strike from outside the box. Ireland have conceded 14 long-range goals over the past three years, and numbers 15 and 16 are likely to follow… Read more »