February 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

A major political scandal has erupted after an infrastructure project was somehow completed on time and within budget. Ministers were furious about the revelations, which threaten to undermine the Government’s reputation for flagrant wasting of taxpayers’ money, following the Arts Council IT system, Dáil bike shed and RTÉ overspending fiascos. “There were definitely raised voices… Read more »

February 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

(Dishevelled man with Moses hairstyle surrounded by reporters.) Voiceover: The Monk attracts huge media attention, for example from us right now. And the notorious gangland figure stood for election, promising to make Dublin safe and lowering crime rates by decriminalising serious crime. (Grainy pic of Gerry Hutch in Bugsy Malone suit.) Voiceover: But who is… Read more »

February 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

by Phil Boots MICHEÁL MARTIN has again confirmed that the Government is actively exploring possible tax breaks for dodgy (surely private? – Ed) property developers. “We are determined to boost supply by attracting the very best quality cowboys (surely builders? – Ed) to construct new houses that won’t come crashing down immediately due to dodgy… Read more »

February 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Rent Film adaptation of the classic musical which sees Micheál Martin make a song and dance about rent pressure zones and the horrific toll they are taking on cute and cuddly investment funds. Contains a tedious amount of extended kite-flying exercises. Art Attacks Dystopian sci-fi thriller about a sinister computer programme that infiltrates the Arts… Read more »

February 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Bertie’s Diner Versatile with a ‘fishy’ flavour defines this north Dublin facility, as gaffer Bert continues to dish out his standard helpings of cod, shark and mullet as he first did over 50 years ago! “Everything fresh off the back of a lorry” is the proud slogan for meals that inevitably conclude with just desserts… Read more »

February 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Agriculture: Government really starting to get on everyone’s goat Climate: Micheál Martin feeling the heat over Mary Lou accusations Defence: Cabinet determined to love bomb the Trump administration Health: No shortage of needling between Independents and Ceann Comhairle Verona Murphy Energy: Paschal Donohoe promising to be even more long winded Migration: Ministers desperate to shift… Read more »

February 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Shock and anger continued to grip the people of Clare last night as the fallout continued over Fine Gael senator Martin Conway being arrested while drunk, disorderly and on all fours on Dublin’s O’Connell Street. “I’ve known Martin for years,” said one upset friend of Mr Conswaying. “He never mentioned being involved with Fine Gael… Read more »

February 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Following Trump’s criticism of USAid funding being used for drag shows, we look at other productions backed by the scaled-down programme. Toy Show The Musical Woke disaster featuring stereotyping, sob stories, virtue signalling and taking a knee. “At least our wasted $70,000 was peanuts compared to the €2m RTÉ squandered,” said a White House spokesperson…. Read more »

February 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Ceann comhairle Verona Murphy has admitted that not speaking Irish is getting her into trouble. “To be honest, I don’t even know what ceann comhairle means, which might explain why everyone is annoyed with me. Seán Ó Fearghaíl told me that ceann comhairle means ‘gravy train’ and I believed him! However, I like to stay… Read more »

February 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

As she once again shunned the limelight, reclusive singer Samantha Mumba has said her furious reaction to the Eurosong panel was “never about my visionary musical abilities”. In a series of social media posts, Mumba reiterated that she didn’t want to draw attention to herself and was simply questioning if the panel were aware of… Read more »

February 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Irish rugby boss Simon Easterby says Sam Prendergast is taking his newfound stardom in his stride and feels the out-half is being “overhyped just the right amount”. As Ireland gear up for a Six Nations clash with Wales, Easterby says there is even the possibility of Prendergast being talked-up further. “Obviously Scotland are world beaters,”… Read more »

February 6, 2025 Craic & Codology

Micheál AI Struggles to not seem robotic when interacting with humans. Seems to have issues recalling anything which happened before 2011 but gained infamy in 2008 for a major crash. Mary Lou Quest Immense breadth of knowledge, though can come across as a know-it-all. However, her backers deny any problems with recent performance and won’t… Read more »

February 6, 2025 Craic & Codology

President Trump has accused Mary Robinson of telling “big-time lies – real whoppers” and using the left-wing press and social media to promote her dangerous views. He also took aim at Ms Robinson’s “climate change conspiracy theories that challenge the essential expansion of oil production”, saying she endangered democracy and free speech. “This bossy broad… Read more »

February 6, 2025 Craic & Codology

Government responsible for slowing down housing Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael breaking manifesto promises Jim O’Callaghan definitely an accident waiting to happen Signs not looking great for Michael Lowry Michael Healy-Rae conducting car crash interviews Independents denying they’re backseat drivers Coalition stalling Occupied Territories Bill OPW asleep at the wheel over that wall business

February 6, 2025 Craic & Codology

Following concerning reports that 70% of 25-year-olds are still living at home with their parents, a government minister has promised to get the remaining 30% home. Said the unnamed minister, returning to the Dáil after his latest fortnight recess: “It’s very, very worrying that there are still three out of ten unfortunate young people out… Read more »

February 6, 2025 Craic & Codology

Government sounding thicker than bricks Opposition acting like live wires Public confidence crumbling OPW stonewalling about costs Allegations of incompetence cemented

February 6, 2025 Craic & Codology

The gender balance row intensified last night after further complaints about the small number of women appointed as government ministers. Micheál Martin insisted, however, that the “abysmal failure” was nothing to do with the current party leadership. “It’s the voters’ responsibility to elect more women candidates,” he told reporters. “But we should also remember that… Read more »

February 6, 2025 Craic & Codology

A major political row has erupted after a Government TD failed to get a junior ministry. With junior ministries seemingly being handed out to every deputy who wanted one, the news represents a major setback for the TD concerned, a party stalwart who has been dutifully climbing the political ladder for years. “I eminently deserved… Read more »

February 6, 2025 Craic & Codology

IN THE battle for supremacy of the political galaxy, Sinn Féin today unleashed a highly-trained band of super heroes to prevent three junior super hero ministers attending Cabinet meetings. Robotic Kerry deputy, Pa-man, suddenly takes legal action over whether the new ‘super junior’ roles are against the laws of the universe. The Incredible Lowryman– ruthless… Read more »

February 6, 2025 Craic & Codology

The GAA has been rocked by a new catfish scandal involving the Mayo footballers, who at numerous times over the past 20 years have had the appearance of All Ireland winners, only for their true identity to be revealed as they were once again beaten by Dublin or Kerry by a point in a replay…. Read more »

February 6, 2025 Craic & Codology

Exclusive to all newspapers 15 men made their way onto the pitch of that illustrious Hibernian Colosseum, sponsored by Aviva, last Friday. A short while later, 15 titans emerged; some battered, some bloodied, but all standing on the cusp of history. [Good, but could we lay it on a bit thicker?_Ed.] England lay crushed beneath… Read more »

February 6, 2025 Craic & Codology

Katherine Zappone Following my embarrassing exit from Irish politics I vowed to live out the remainder of my life in complete and utter obscurity. Obviously a seat in Seanad Éireann was the best way of achieving this but unfortunately the Trinity crowd had different ideas. Hugo MacNeill I honestly thought the retirement of David Norris… Read more »